lately i feel like i’m going to explode from bottling up everything i feel so i decided that in order for me to avoid relapse i’m going to force myself to open up through writing. i don’t really know if i’ll even keep up with this here’s a list of things currently on my mind:
1. if i know you in real life and you read my personal posts please don’t bring it up or try and talk to me about it because this is really more of a personal thing. i don’t want or need your feedback.
2. it’s raining outside and i’m afraid for the change in season because i know i get really depressed in the colder months of the year.
3. i am so unmotivated. i don’t know what i’m doing or what i want to do. i just honestly wish i could lay in bed and not think about anything at all.
4. my sleeping habits are awful and i have been smoking a lot more that i usually do.
5. even as i write this i feel the need to sensor myself
6. i can’t stop thinking about you and i know i’m over thinking this entire situation and it wasn’t even a big deal or it shouldn’t be anyway but for some reason you’re in the back of my mind. there were just so many words left unsaid and questions left unanswered. god, i need to just let it go.
7. i want to be alone@2 days ago with 2 notes